An A-Z Explanation of Fashion

Fashion is strange.  You’re not supposed to judge a book by its cover, but the type and brand of apparel one wears is usually a pretty good indicator of personality.

Let’s go over a few examples of brands and the type of people that wear them – off the top of my head and in alphabetical order…

Affliction: I’m a douchebag and like magic (see: Criss Angel)

Banana Republic: I’m fashionable and upper-middle class

Cutter and Buck:  I’m old and I don’t care

Dickies: I’m so hip, let’s smoke

Etnies: I’m a wannabe pro skater –or– I’m an 8^th grade boy

FUBU: I’m black or wish I were

GAP: I’m an all-American classic, take me to meet your mom

Helly Hansen: I love nature, but love to spend money too

Izod: I like to look like I’m from a country club, but I’m not fooling anybody

J. Crew:  I’m one cool customer, let’s go sailing

Kenneth Cole: I’m serious about what I do, back off

Lulu Lemon: I’m a fashion-conscious gym goer

Mudd: I’m an 8^th grade girl, my boyfriend wears Etnies

North Face: I shop for outdoor clothes at Nordstrom so I’m ready for any polar winds

Osh Kosh B’Gosh: I’m a bad ass two year old, give me your bottle bitch

Prada:  You can’t afford me, talk to my less attractive friend

Quicksilver: I love summertime and borrowing my dad’s boat
Russell: I play men’s league basketball on weeknights

Southpole: I probably have a gun (note: this brand was prohibited at my high school)

Tommy Hilfiger: I think I know fashion, don’t I?

Under Armour: I’m fit and want you to know it, look at my nipples

Van Heusen: I’m just beginning my trek up the corporate ladder

Wrangler: I need a new pair because my can of chew wore a hole in my back pocket

Xtra Large: Not a brand, but a size of person

Yves Saint Laurent: I’m the definition of fashion meeting art

Zegna: I prefer to by $150 polos, it ain’t no thang

 

I may be wrong on some of these, so feel free to disagree or post your own list.  

Sorry for the posting hiatus, we’re back.

-Butch Cassidy